WebMD Feature
By R. Morgan Griffin
Reviewed By Brunilda Nazario, MD
Have you given up on exercise? A lot of older people do -- just one out of four people between the ages of 65 and 74 exercises regularly. Many people assume that they're too out-of-shape, or sick, or tired, or just plain old to exercise. They're wrong.
"Exercise is almost always good for people of any age," says Chhanda Dutta, PhD, chief of the Clinical Gerontology Branch at the National Institute on Aging. Exercise can help make you stronger, prevent bone loss, improve balance and coordination, lift your mood, boost your memory, and ease the symptoms of many chronic conditions.
Here are some common myths that stop older people from exercising -- along with some expert advice to get you started working out.
Exercise Myth: Trying to exercise and get healthy is pointless -- decline in old age is inevitable.
"There's a powerful myth that getting older means getting decrepit," says Dutta. "It's not true. Some people in their 70s, 80s, and 90s are out there running marathons and becoming body-builders." A lot of the symptoms that we associate with old age -- such as weakness and loss of balance -- are actually symptoms of inactivity, not age, says Alicia I. Arbaje, MD, MPH, assistant professor of Geriatrics and Gerontology at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine in Baltimore.
Exercise improves more than your physical health. It can also boost memory and help prevent dementia. And it can help you maintain your independence and your way of life. If you stay strong and agile as you age, you'll be more able to keep doing the things you enjoy and less likely to need help.
Exercise Myth: Exercise isn't safe for someone my age -- I don't want to fall and break a hip.
In fact, studies show that exercise can reduce your chances of a fall, says Dutta. Exercise builds strength, balance, and agility. Exercises like tai chi may be especially helpful in improving balance. Worried about osteoporosis and weak bones? One of the best ways to strengthen them is with regular exercise.
Exercise Myth: Since I'm older, I need to check with my doctor before I exercise.
If you have a medical condition or any unexplained symptoms or you haven't had a physical in a long time, check with your doctor before you start exercising. Otherwise, go ahead. "People don't need to check with a doctor before they exercise just because they're older," says Dutta. Just go slowly and don't overdo it.
Exercise Myth: I'm sick, so I shouldn't exercise.
On the contrary, if you have a chronic health problem -- such as arthritis, diabetes, or heart disease -- exercise is almost certainly a good idea. Check with a doctor first, but exercise will probably help.
"Exercise is almost like a silver bullet for lots of health problems," says Arbaje. "For many people, exercise can do as much if not more good than the 5 to 10 medications they take every day."
Exercise Myth: I'm afraid I might have a heart attack if I exercise.
We've all heard about people who had heart attacks while exercising. It can happen. However, the many health benefits of exercise far exceed the small risk. "Being a couch potato is actually more dangerous than being physically active," says Dutta. "That's true for the risk of heart disease and many other conditions."
Exercise Myth: I never really exercised before -- it's too late to make a difference in my health.
It may seem too late to atone for a lifetime of not exercising. "That's absolutely not true," says Dutta. Studies have found that even in people in their nineties living in nursing homes, starting an exercise routine can boost muscle strength. Other research shows that starting exercise late in life can still cut the risk of health problems -- such as diabetes --and improve symptoms. "It really is never too late to start exercising and reaping the benefits," Dutta tells WebMD.
Exercise Myth: Exercise will hurt my joints.
If you're in chronic pain from arthritis, exercising may seem too painful. Here's a counterintuitive fact: studies show that exercising helps with arthritis pain. One study of people over age 60 with knee arthritis found that those who exercised more had less pain and better joint function.
Exercise Myth: I don't have time to exercise.
This is a myth that's common in all age groups. Experts recommend a minimum of 150 minutes of aerobic exercise a week. That might sound like a lot. Actually, it's only a little over 20 minutes a day. What's more, you don't have to do it all in one chunk. You can split it up. For instance, take a 10-minute walk in the morning and pedal on a stationary bike for 15 minutes in the evening -- you're done.
Exercise Myth: I'm too weak to start exercising.
Maybe you just recovered from an illness or surgery and are feeling too weak even to walk around the block. Maybe you only get out of the chair each day to go to the bathroom. If so, start there. Decide today to get in and out of your chair 10 times. As you do it more, your strength will increase and you can set higher goals.
Exercise Myth: I'm disabled, so I can't exercise.
"A disability can make exercise challenging, but there really is no excuse for not doing some sort of exercise," says Arbaje. If you're in a wheelchair, you can use your arms to get an aerobic workout and build strength. Even people who are bedridden can find ways to exercise, she says. Talk to a doctor or a physical therapist about ways you can modify exercises to work around your disability.
Exercise Myth: I can't afford to exercise -- I don't have the budget to join a gym or buy equipment.
Gym memberships and home treadmills can be expensive. Still, that's no reason to skip exercising, Dutta says. You can exercise for free. Walking doesn't cost anything. Look into free demonstration classes at your local senior center. If you want to lift weights at home, use soup cans or milk jugs filled with sand. Use your dining room chair for exercises that improve balance and flexibility. If you have a health problem, insurance may cover a few sessions with a physical trainer or an occupational therapist, says Arbaje. There are lots of ways to get fit at low or no cost.
Exercise Myth: Gyms are for young people, not for me.
"The gym scene can be intimidating for older people," says Dutta. Look to see if gyms in your area have offerings for seniors or people new to exercise. If you're retired, try going in the middle of the day, so you can avoid the before and after-work rush. "Find an environment where you feel comfortable exercising," says Arbaje.
Exercise Myth: Exercise is boring.
If exercise is boring, you're not doing it right. Exercise doesn't even have to feel like exercise.
Remember that any physical activity counts. Whether it's catching up with a friend while you walk the mall, or taking a dance class, or chasing your grandchildren, or bowling, or raking, or gardening, or volunteering at your local school system or park, it's physical activity.
"Don't forget sex," says Arbaje. "That's good exercise too."
The key is to figure out something you enjoy doing and do that. When you get tired of it, try something new. "The type of exercise doesn't matter," says Arbaje. "The best exercise is the one that you actually do."
http://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/nutrition-world-2/exercise-older-adults?page=1
"Learn About Senior In Home Health Care in Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida
Senior Helpers Provides Many services in The Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida area. We provide a full array of Home Care services for seniors and the elderly living in the beautiful Suncoast area. Our Home Care Services are provided by bonded and insured employees and all employees pass a National Background check.
If you need Home Care services in Tarpon Springs, New Port Richey, Hudson, Holiday, Spring Hill, East Lake and the surrounding areas we are an excellent choice with impeccable references. Home Health Care for your elderly loved ones is never an easy choice but we can promise we will do our best to make it as painless as possible. From our family to yours we sincerely thank you for considering Senior Helpers of Tarpon Springs Home Health Care Company. "
Senior Helpers Provides Many services in The Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida area. We provide a full array of Home Care services for seniors and the elderly living in the beautiful Suncoast area. Our Home Care Services are provided by bonded and insured employees and all employees pass a National Background check.
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Don't Slip On Icy Surfaces This Winter
Editor's Choice
Main Category: Public Health
Also Included In: Seniors / Aging
Article Date: 04 Jan 2012 - 8:00 PST
Each year around 1 million individuals fall - with winter officially here, take precautions in order to avoid falling on slippery sidewalks. Approximately 20,000 adults die every year as a result of fall-related injuries according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Furthermore, around 15% of job-site accidents are due to injuries from falls, amounting to nearly 15% of all workers' compensation costs.
Mike Ross, author of "The Balance Manual" and exercise physiologist at Gottlieb Center for Fitness, part of the Loyola University Health System, explained: "Many falls can be successfully avoided or the impact minimized by applying a few basic strategies."
At Gottlieb, Ross teaches individuals, mainly those over 50 years, balance classes year-round. As individuals age, unavoidable bodily changes might affect the persons' safety. Ross states: "Balance deteriorates as we get older due to the weakening of muscles and change in sensory perception, especially in the ear structure." The brain and inner ear primarily determine equilibrium, or balance.
Ross explains:
"As we age, our eardrums often thicken and the bones in the middle ear and other structures are affected. It often becomes increasingly difficult to maintain balance. Aging also breaks down cells in the nervous system, which can often result in a delay in reflexes that can lead to susceptibility to injury."
In order to take control and prevent injuries from falls, Ross provides eight tips how to avert slips and falls this winter.
- Make sure your shoes and boots have good grip as better traction can help keep you more stable on slippery surfaces. If the traction on your footwear is worn, it's time for a new pair.
- Make sure railings leading to your house are sturdy enough to support you if you slip.
- Keep a shovel and salt in your house so you don't have to walk on a slippery sidewalk rather than the garage, as this defeats the purpose.
- If the sidewalks are icy slow down rushing will more likely cause you to fall than taking it easy.
- Carry a cell phone with you when leaving the house in case you fall and find it hard to get up.
- Have a plan. When leaving the house, ask yourself "if I slipped and fell here, what would I do?"
- Exercise regularly to keep your leg muscles strong. Strong leg muscles will make it considerably more easier to get back up. Do a set of 10 squats out of chair a couple times per week, or walk up and down the stairs repeatedly.
- Ask individuals around you for help. The majority of people are more than happy to help an older person navigate a slippery sidewalk.
Written by Grace Rattue
Copyright: Medical News Today
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/239907.php
"Learn About Senior In Home Health Care in Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida
Senior Helpers Provides Many services in The Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida area. We provide a full array of Home Care services for seniors and the elderly living in the beautiful Suncoast area. Our Home Care Services are provided by bonded and insured employees and all employees pass a National Background check.
If you need Home Care services in Tarpon Springs, New Port Richey, Hudson, Holiday, Spring Hill, East Lake and the surrounding areas we are an excellent choice with impeccable references. Home Health Care for your elderly loved ones is never an easy choice but we can promise we will do our best to make it as painless as possible. From our family to yours we sincerely thank you for considering Senior Helpers of Tarpon Springs Home Health Care Company. "
Saturday, January 7, 2012
8 Warning Signs an Older Adult's Finances Are Off Track Keep your eyes open for these red flags
By Stephanie Miles, Caring.com senior editor
Financial problems can easily spiral out of control if older adults don't tackle them quickly. And if they're tight-lipped about their finances or fearful of losing control over their money, they may be less likely to confide in a caregiver or family member about any money difficulties they may be experiencing -- giving problems time to snowball.
Even if you're not privy to the details of their finances, if you pay attention you'll see early indications that problems are brewing. Here are some of the warning signs that their finances are off track:
As people get older, the monthly chores of paying bills may become mentally or physically overwhelming, especially if money is tight because they're on a fixed income or if they're slowing down physically. Stacks of unopened mail -- especially bills -- can be an important warning sign that something is amiss.
These can both be early signs that he isn't paying close attention to his money situation. He may be physically unable to make the daily or weekly trips to the ATM or bank branch to deposit checks and take out cash, or he may be getting increasingly forgetful about his day-to-day financial dealings.
4. The house is filling with new purchases, or those in your care have acquired expensive new hobbies.
Take a look around the house. Does it look like they've been doing heavy-duty damage to their credit cards? Do you see lots of new and expensive purchases around the house, like furniture, art, knickknacks, or fancy appliances such as flat-screen TVs? Or maybe they've been traveling more than usual or taken up some other costly new habit like weekly golf outings to the most expensive course in town.
No one begrudges older adults the right to an occasional splurge -- especially if they're retired and finally relaxing after years of hard work. But a sudden uptick in purchases or expenses can be signs that they're overextending themselves and developing a compulsive spending habit.
Older adults can be especially vulnerable to scam artists and shady telemarketers -- or even well-meaning friends who have already fallen prey to this kind of scheme -- not only because they often have significant assets but also because they may be lonely or may welcome the attention.
Likewise, paying bills by mail can become burdensome if arthritis makes writing checks and addressing envelopes painful. Pay attention to their general health, and you'll likely be able to keep tabs on their financial health as well.
"Learn About Senior In Home Health Care in Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida
Senior Helpers Provides Many services in The Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida area. We provide a full array of Home Care services for seniors and the elderly living in the beautiful Suncoast area. Our Home Care Services are provided by bonded and insured employees and all employees pass a National Background check.
If you need Home Care services in Tarpon Springs, New Port Richey, Hudson, Holiday, Spring Hill, East Lake and the surrounding areas we are an excellent choice with impeccable references. Home Health Care for your elderly loved ones is never an easy choice but we can promise we will do our best to make it as painless as possible. From our family to yours we sincerely thank you for considering Senior Helpers of Tarpon Springs Home Health Care Company. "
Financial problems can easily spiral out of control if older adults don't tackle them quickly. And if they're tight-lipped about their finances or fearful of losing control over their money, they may be less likely to confide in a caregiver or family member about any money difficulties they may be experiencing -- giving problems time to snowball.
Even if you're not privy to the details of their finances, if you pay attention you'll see early indications that problems are brewing. Here are some of the warning signs that their finances are off track:
1. Mail is piling up unopened in their house.
Take a look around the kitchen or mail area. Are there stacks of unsorted mail? What about piles of statements from mortgage or credit card companies, utilities, notices from the Internal Revenue Service, or other unopened envelopes that appear to be bills?As people get older, the monthly chores of paying bills may become mentally or physically overwhelming, especially if money is tight because they're on a fixed income or if they're slowing down physically. Stacks of unopened mail -- especially bills -- can be an important warning sign that something is amiss.
2. They seem to be mishandling money or forgetful about cash.
When you're out to eat, does the person you're caring for open his wallet, only to be surprised that he doesn't have enough money to pay for something? Do you see undeposited checks or unopened mail from pension funds, insurance companies, or Social Security hiding in piles of paperwork or lost amid household clutter?These can both be early signs that he isn't paying close attention to his money situation. He may be physically unable to make the daily or weekly trips to the ATM or bank branch to deposit checks and take out cash, or he may be getting increasingly forgetful about his day-to-day financial dealings.
3. Creditors are showing up in the phone logs.
The phone offers a quick and easy way to check to see whether creditors are contacting -- or harassing -- the person in your care. Check the caller ID logs and keep track of any increase in phone calls from new numbers that may be bill collectors. You may also notice repeated phone calls from credit card companies or household help, such as gardeners or housecleaners looking for back wages.4. The house is filling with new purchases, or those in your care have acquired expensive new hobbies.
Take a look around the house. Does it look like they've been doing heavy-duty damage to their credit cards? Do you see lots of new and expensive purchases around the house, like furniture, art, knickknacks, or fancy appliances such as flat-screen TVs? Or maybe they've been traveling more than usual or taken up some other costly new habit like weekly golf outings to the most expensive course in town.
No one begrudges older adults the right to an occasional splurge -- especially if they're retired and finally relaxing after years of hard work. But a sudden uptick in purchases or expenses can be signs that they're overextending themselves and developing a compulsive spending habit.
5. They're gambling more often or for higher stakes than usual.
Many people -- especially older adults -- enjoy organized trips to local casinos or weekly bingo or bridge games at the senior center. Gambling cruises and bus trips are a popular weekend excursion for many groups, and there's no reason to panic over the first train ride to Reno, bus to the Jersey shore, or gambling cruise to the Bahamas. But if these activities increase significantly over time, you have to face the possibility that they may have a gambling problem -- and if that's the case, gambling-related expenses could easily blow up in their faces at any time.6. You see or hear evidence that they're falling victim to financial scams.
Take another look at the mail pile and caller ID logs. Do you see many junk-mail catalogs from unfamiliar companies, sweepstakes mailings, solicitations for investment schemes, or vacation home offers? What about frequent or repeated phone calls from unfamiliar numbers? Or has someone you're caring for excitedly told you about a surefire, can't-miss investment scheme he heard about from a neighbor?Older adults can be especially vulnerable to scam artists and shady telemarketers -- or even well-meaning friends who have already fallen prey to this kind of scheme -- not only because they often have significant assets but also because they may be lonely or may welcome the attention.
7. They're complaining about not having enough money.
Does the subject of money come up in conversation more than it used to? Do they make more passing references to the high costs of living expenses like gas, electricity, and groceries? You may also see more subtle signs that money is tight -- they may decline invitations to go out to eat with friends because of the cost, make fewer car trips because of high gas prices, and skip home fixes like house painting and furnace or appliance repairs. All of these can be signs that their expenses are too much for them to deal with on their own.8. They seem physically unable to complete daily tasks like banking and bill paying.
Tasks that once seemed mundane can become unmanageable if their physical or mental state is deteriorating. The weekly trip to the ATM may be no big deal to you, but if they have vision problems that prevent them from driving or health issues that keep them from long walks, it may be hard for them to make it to the bank on a regular basis.Likewise, paying bills by mail can become burdensome if arthritis makes writing checks and addressing envelopes painful. Pay attention to their general health, and you'll likely be able to keep tabs on their financial health as well.
"Learn About Senior In Home Health Care in Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida
Senior Helpers Provides Many services in The Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida area. We provide a full array of Home Care services for seniors and the elderly living in the beautiful Suncoast area. Our Home Care Services are provided by bonded and insured employees and all employees pass a National Background check.
If you need Home Care services in Tarpon Springs, New Port Richey, Hudson, Holiday, Spring Hill, East Lake and the surrounding areas we are an excellent choice with impeccable references. Home Health Care for your elderly loved ones is never an easy choice but we can promise we will do our best to make it as painless as possible. From our family to yours we sincerely thank you for considering Senior Helpers of Tarpon Springs Home Health Care Company. "
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Reader Story: What My Father's Death Taught Me About Estate Planning
This guest post from Jody is part of the "reader stories" feature at Get Rich Slowly. Some stories contain general advice; others are examples of how a GRS reader achieved financial success — or failure. These stories feature folks from all levels of financial maturity and with all sorts of incomes.
My dad died recently. He was a good man and a great father. Just three months after he retired (after spending more than 40 years as a salesman for an oil company), he was diagnosed with stage-four colon cancer. Throughout my life, my father tried to give my brothers and me a good financial education.
For instance:
But the most unexpected financial lesson my father taught me came after he passed away. I am the executor of his estate. My dad was always a planner, but the things he did to make this processes easier are amazing. I feel compelled to share them with just about everyone I know. Today, I'm sharing them with GRS readers.
Building a team
My dad lived on a beautiful lake in Missouri, which is about five hours from where I live. Every time I'd go and visit him, he would set up a meeting with his "key people". I'd argue against it. "Dad, I don't really need to meet your tax guy," I'd say. He insisted.
I met his insurance representative. We took his attorney to lunch. Just about every time I came to visit, he had to "stop at the bank for a minute." I'm on a first name basis with his bank. When his "Fidelity Lady" called he'd say, "Just a minute I want you to talk to my daughter." I would roll my eyes and be embarrassed for both of us as he handed me the phone.
This is all years ago, when it looked like chemo was working and he would beat cancer. Today, these connections have been invaluable. When my dad's insurance representative heard that he passed away, he called me and had already dropped the forms in the mail. His banker has made everything so easy. "Don't worry about that you can sign it next time you're here." His "Fidelity Lady" also contacted me and filled out half the paperwork for us.
I can't count how many times, I've said "Thanks Dad, for looking out for me." I knew who to call. I've met them. I have their business cards.
Negotiating fees
Dad negotiated the estate fees. Lunch with the attorney who wrote his will was so helpful that I'm still in awe. When the dust settled, I called her and said "What now?" She knew exactly what to do and had all the information to do it. But, get this: Dad negotiated the estate fees as well. He told her, "If my daughter decides to use you to settle the estate, (knowing he had already stacked the deck in her favor) let's negotiate a not-to-exceed amount that you would charge." He then put that amount in a targeted bank account.
I was thinking that the cost for the legal fees would be about $7,000 or $8,000. I had no frame of reference. This was just a number in my head. The fees were $20,000. I was blown away. When I did some research and called some lawyer friends, I learned that lawyers typically charge between 3% and 5% of the total value of the estate. My dad had negotiated 2% and put the money in an account I had immediate access to. Again, thanks Dad!
Planning ahead
Several years ago when he was still healthy, he added me to his bank accounts. My name was on his checks. I argued against it because I thought it was unnecessary and I was always taught that money and account balances are private information. He wanted me to do it anyway. (His credit was always spotless, so I knew there was no risk for me.)
When his health started to fail and then when he passed away, it was absolutely seamless for me to pay his bills. I could sign the checks. (He even made me "try it out" years ago by writing a $10 check to my brother!) I could pay bills on-line. He made sure there was enough money in that account to pay the bills in case his house doesn't sell for almost two years.
Preparing for the worst
My father pre-paid his funeral expenses and left extra money in that checking account for miscellaneous expenses. Again, my dad was a planner. He had a master binder. He wanted to review his funeral arrangements with me, but that was more than I could handle. He told me when I needed the plans, I just had to flip to "F" for Funeral in his binder. Low and behold when I did, everything was there: the places he had made arrangements with and copies of cancelled checks with business cards attached to them. There were five copies of 8x10s he had taken when he was still relatively healthy for us to use in the obituary! Attached to that was his obituary! He wrote it himself.
Even as organized as he was there were about $3,500 in unforeseen costs. It was a rainy, windy day and we needed a large tent and chairs at the graveside. Obituaries cost about $100 a day. I had no idea newspapers charged for obituaries! My grandma wanted the obituary ran in several other papers along with the ones my dad specified, which was fine, but I was shocked to see that it cost $500 more. Seeding that checking account that I already had access to, was key. I cringe at the thought of having to ask my brothers, who are a financial mess, to chip in for anything. Luckily, his funeral didn't become a financial burden on anyone.
Settling affairs
When Dad updated his will several years ago, he asked if I would be his executor. Of course I said yes. He told me that I was entitled to compensation for doing this. He recommended I take a 2% or 3% commission. I said no way. It felt like I would be charging him.
After he passed away and I realized all that it entailed, I found myself thinking that maybe I should have taken him up on that offer. Being the executor of an estate — even a very well-planned estate — took about 10 to 15 hours a week for months. It's a big job. I found myself resenting my brothers since I was doing it all.
When we went to Fidelity to split up his IRA, he had stipulated that I receive 1% more then my brothers for my job as executor. He paid me anyway! He knew the job should come with some compensation and he preserved my relationship with my brothers. See what I mean? My dad was amazing, and this is just a small peek into his wonderful life.
A gift from the grave
I honestly consider my father's financial planning to be a selfless act of love. Despite his generosity, I would trade every last cent for ten more minutes with him. When someone you love dies, it's brutal. Emotionally, and physically. Trust me, you really are in no state to make these type of financial or legal decisions on your own (unless maybe you are an expert). I haven't even mentioned the tax side of it. I'm sure there are ways to save money and do things cheaper.
As J.D. says, don't let the perfect be the enemy of good. Not having any plans is a giant mistake. Do what my dad did. Do a little at a time and refine your plan along the way as you become more knowledgeable.
This is a story from one of your fellow readers. Please be nice. After more than a decade of blogging, I have a thick skin, but it can be scary to put your story out in public for the first time. Remember that this guest author isn't a professional writer, and is just learning about money like you are. Henceforth, unduly nasty comments on readers stories will be removed or edited.
The original article can be found at GetRichSlowly.org: Reader Story: What My Father's Death Taught Me About Estate Planning"
http://www.forbes.com/sites/moneybuilder/2011/12/12/reader-story-what-my-fathers-death-taught-me-about-estate-planning/?partner=yahootix
"Learn About Senior In Home Health Care in Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida
Senior Helpers Provides Many services in The Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida area. We provide a full array of Home Care services for seniors and the elderly living in the beautiful Suncoast area. Our Home Care Services are provided by bonded and insured employees and all employees pass a National Background check.
If you need Home Care services in Tarpon Springs, New Port Richey, Hudson, Holiday, Spring Hill, East Lake and the surrounding areas we are an excellent choice with impeccable references. Home Health Care for your elderly loved ones is never an easy choice but we can promise we will do our best to make it as painless as possible. From our family to yours we sincerely thank you for considering Senior Helpers of Tarpon Springs Home Health Care Company. "
My dad died recently. He was a good man and a great father. Just three months after he retired (after spending more than 40 years as a salesman for an oil company), he was diagnosed with stage-four colon cancer. Throughout my life, my father tried to give my brothers and me a good financial education.
For instance:
- We were solidly middle class, but I always thought we were sort of poor. Often, there wasn't money for this or that. But Dad taught me to be comfortable living below my means.
- If I needed money, Dad told me to get a job. My brothers and I all had jobs since we were about twelve. I packed rice into take-out containers at a Chinese restaurant when I was in seventh and eighth grade.
- He taught me that charity matters. We sponsored kids our age in poor countries as a way to give back and underscore how fortunate we were.
But the most unexpected financial lesson my father taught me came after he passed away. I am the executor of his estate. My dad was always a planner, but the things he did to make this processes easier are amazing. I feel compelled to share them with just about everyone I know. Today, I'm sharing them with GRS readers.
Building a team
My dad lived on a beautiful lake in Missouri, which is about five hours from where I live. Every time I'd go and visit him, he would set up a meeting with his "key people". I'd argue against it. "Dad, I don't really need to meet your tax guy," I'd say. He insisted.
I met his insurance representative. We took his attorney to lunch. Just about every time I came to visit, he had to "stop at the bank for a minute." I'm on a first name basis with his bank. When his "Fidelity Lady" called he'd say, "Just a minute I want you to talk to my daughter." I would roll my eyes and be embarrassed for both of us as he handed me the phone.
This is all years ago, when it looked like chemo was working and he would beat cancer. Today, these connections have been invaluable. When my dad's insurance representative heard that he passed away, he called me and had already dropped the forms in the mail. His banker has made everything so easy. "Don't worry about that you can sign it next time you're here." His "Fidelity Lady" also contacted me and filled out half the paperwork for us.
I can't count how many times, I've said "Thanks Dad, for looking out for me." I knew who to call. I've met them. I have their business cards.
Negotiating fees
Dad negotiated the estate fees. Lunch with the attorney who wrote his will was so helpful that I'm still in awe. When the dust settled, I called her and said "What now?" She knew exactly what to do and had all the information to do it. But, get this: Dad negotiated the estate fees as well. He told her, "If my daughter decides to use you to settle the estate, (knowing he had already stacked the deck in her favor) let's negotiate a not-to-exceed amount that you would charge." He then put that amount in a targeted bank account.
I was thinking that the cost for the legal fees would be about $7,000 or $8,000. I had no frame of reference. This was just a number in my head. The fees were $20,000. I was blown away. When I did some research and called some lawyer friends, I learned that lawyers typically charge between 3% and 5% of the total value of the estate. My dad had negotiated 2% and put the money in an account I had immediate access to. Again, thanks Dad!
Planning ahead
Several years ago when he was still healthy, he added me to his bank accounts. My name was on his checks. I argued against it because I thought it was unnecessary and I was always taught that money and account balances are private information. He wanted me to do it anyway. (His credit was always spotless, so I knew there was no risk for me.)
When his health started to fail and then when he passed away, it was absolutely seamless for me to pay his bills. I could sign the checks. (He even made me "try it out" years ago by writing a $10 check to my brother!) I could pay bills on-line. He made sure there was enough money in that account to pay the bills in case his house doesn't sell for almost two years.
Preparing for the worst
My father pre-paid his funeral expenses and left extra money in that checking account for miscellaneous expenses. Again, my dad was a planner. He had a master binder. He wanted to review his funeral arrangements with me, but that was more than I could handle. He told me when I needed the plans, I just had to flip to "F" for Funeral in his binder. Low and behold when I did, everything was there: the places he had made arrangements with and copies of cancelled checks with business cards attached to them. There were five copies of 8x10s he had taken when he was still relatively healthy for us to use in the obituary! Attached to that was his obituary! He wrote it himself.
Even as organized as he was there were about $3,500 in unforeseen costs. It was a rainy, windy day and we needed a large tent and chairs at the graveside. Obituaries cost about $100 a day. I had no idea newspapers charged for obituaries! My grandma wanted the obituary ran in several other papers along with the ones my dad specified, which was fine, but I was shocked to see that it cost $500 more. Seeding that checking account that I already had access to, was key. I cringe at the thought of having to ask my brothers, who are a financial mess, to chip in for anything. Luckily, his funeral didn't become a financial burden on anyone.
Settling affairs
When Dad updated his will several years ago, he asked if I would be his executor. Of course I said yes. He told me that I was entitled to compensation for doing this. He recommended I take a 2% or 3% commission. I said no way. It felt like I would be charging him.
After he passed away and I realized all that it entailed, I found myself thinking that maybe I should have taken him up on that offer. Being the executor of an estate — even a very well-planned estate — took about 10 to 15 hours a week for months. It's a big job. I found myself resenting my brothers since I was doing it all.
When we went to Fidelity to split up his IRA, he had stipulated that I receive 1% more then my brothers for my job as executor. He paid me anyway! He knew the job should come with some compensation and he preserved my relationship with my brothers. See what I mean? My dad was amazing, and this is just a small peek into his wonderful life.
A gift from the grave
I honestly consider my father's financial planning to be a selfless act of love. Despite his generosity, I would trade every last cent for ten more minutes with him. When someone you love dies, it's brutal. Emotionally, and physically. Trust me, you really are in no state to make these type of financial or legal decisions on your own (unless maybe you are an expert). I haven't even mentioned the tax side of it. I'm sure there are ways to save money and do things cheaper.
As J.D. says, don't let the perfect be the enemy of good. Not having any plans is a giant mistake. Do what my dad did. Do a little at a time and refine your plan along the way as you become more knowledgeable.
This is a story from one of your fellow readers. Please be nice. After more than a decade of blogging, I have a thick skin, but it can be scary to put your story out in public for the first time. Remember that this guest author isn't a professional writer, and is just learning about money like you are. Henceforth, unduly nasty comments on readers stories will be removed or edited.
The original article can be found at GetRichSlowly.org: Reader Story: What My Father's Death Taught Me About Estate Planning"
http://www.forbes.com/sites/moneybuilder/2011/12/12/reader-story-what-my-fathers-death-taught-me-about-estate-planning/?partner=yahootix
"Learn About Senior In Home Health Care in Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida
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Saturday, December 24, 2011
Caregiver Burnout
Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, emotional, and mental exhaustion that may be accompanied by a change in attitude -- from positive and caring to negative and unconcerned. Burnout can occur when caregivers don't get the help they need, or if they try to do more than they are able -- either physically or financially. Caregivers who are "burned out" may experience fatigue, stress, anxiety, and depression. Many caregivers also feel guilty if they spend time on themselves rather than on their ill or elderly loved ones.
http://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/caregiving-insights/avoid-burnout?page=3
"Learn About Senior In Home Health Care in Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida
Senior Helpers Provides Many services in The Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida area. We provide a full array of Home Care services for seniors and the elderly living in the beautiful Suncoast area. Our Home Care Services are provided by bonded and insured employees and all employees pass a National Background check.
If you need Home Care services in Tarpon Springs, New Port Richey, Hudson, Holiday, Spring Hill, East Lake and the surrounding areas we are an excellent choice with impeccable references. Home Health Care for your elderly loved ones is never an easy choice but we can promise we will do our best to make it as painless as possible. From our family to yours we sincerely thank you for considering Senior Helpers of Tarpon Springs Home Health Care Company. "
What Are the Symptoms of Caregiver Burnout?
The symptoms of caregiver burnout are similar to the symptoms of stress and depression. They include:- Withdrawal from friends, family, and other loved ones.
- Loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed.
- Feeling blue, irritable, hopeless, and helpless.
- Changes in appetite, weight, or both.
- Changes in sleep patterns.
- Getting sick more often.
- Feelings of wanting to hurt yourself or the person for whom you are caring.
- Emotional and physical exhaustion.
- Irritability.
What Causes Caregiver Burnout?
Caregivers often are so busy caring for others that they tend to neglect their own emotional, physical, and spiritual health. The demands on a caregiver's body, mind, and emotions can easily seem overwhelming, leading to fatigue and hopelessness -- and, ultimately, burnout. Other factors that can lead to caregiver burnout include:- Role confusion -- Many people are confused when thrust into the role of caregiver. It can be difficult for a person to separate her role as caregiver from her role as spouse, lover, child, friend, etc.
- Unrealistic expectations -- Many caregivers expect their involvement to have a positive effect on the health and happiness of the patient. This may be unrealistic for patients suffering from a progressive disease, such as Parkinson's or Alzheimer's.
- Lack of control -- Many caregivers become frustrated by a lack of money, resources, and skills to effectively plan, manage, and organize their loved one's care.
- Unreasonable demands -- Some caregivers place unreasonable burdens upon themselves, in part because they see providing care as their exclusive responsibility.
- Other factors -- Many caregivers cannot recognize when they are suffering burnout and eventually get to the point where they cannot function effectively. They may even become sick themselves.
How Can I Prevent Caregiver Burnout?
Here are some steps you can take to help prevent caregiver burnout:- Find someone you trust -- such as a friend, co-worker, or neighbor -- to talk to about your feelings and frustrations.
- Set realistic goals, accept that you may need help with caregiving, and turn to others for help with some tasks.
- Be realistic about your loved one's disease, especially if it is a progressive disease such as Parkinson's or Alzheimer's.
- Don't forget about yourself because you're too busy caring for someone else. Set aside time for yourself, even if it's just an hour or two. Remember, taking care of yourself is not a luxury. It is an absolute necessity for caregivers.
- Talk to a professional. Most therapists, social workers, and clergy members are trained to counsel individuals dealing with a wide range of physical and emotional issues.
- Take advantage of respite care services. Respite care provides a temporary break for caregivers. This can range from a few hours of in-home care to a short stay in a nursing home or assisted living facility.
- Know your limits and do a reality check of your personal situation. Recognize and accept your potential for caregiver burnout.
- Educate yourself. The more you know about the illness, the more effective you will be in caring for the person with the illness.
- Develop new tools for coping. Remember to lighten up and accentuate the positive. Use humor to help deal with everyday stresses.
- Stay healthy by eating right and getting plenty of exercise and sleep.
- Accept your feelings. Having negative feelings -- such as frustration or anger -- about your responsibilities or the person for whom you are caring is normal. It does not mean you are a bad person or a bad caregiver.
- Join a caregiver support group. Sharing your feelings and experiences with others in the same situation can help you manage stress, locate helpful resources, and reduce feelings of frustration and isolation.
Where Can I Turn for Help for Caregiver Burnout?
If you are already suffering from stress and depression, seek medical attention. Stress and depression are treatable disorders. If you want to prevent burnout, consider turning to the following resources for help with your caregiving:- Home health services -- These agencies provide home health aids and nurses for short-term care, if your loved one is acutely ill. Some agencies provide short-term respite care.
- Adult day care -- These programs offer a place for seniors to socialize, engage in a variety of activities, and receive needed medical care and other services.
- Nursing homes or assisted living facilities -- These institutions sometimes offer short-term respite stays to provide caregivers a break from their caregiving responsibilities.
- Private care aides -- These are professionals who specialize in assessing current needs and coordinating care and services.
- Caregiver support services -- These include support groups and other programs that can help caregivers recharge their batteries, meet others coping with similar issues, find more information, and locate additional resources.
- Agency of Aging -- Contact your local Agency on Aging or your local chapter of the AARP for services available in your area such as adult day care services, caregiver support groups, and respite care.
- National organizations -- Look in a phone directory or search online for local agencies or chapters of national organizations dedicated to assisting people with illnesses such as Parkinson's disease or stroke. These groups can provide resources and information about respite care and support groups.
http://www.webmd.com/healthy-aging/caregiving-insights/avoid-burnout?page=3
"Learn About Senior In Home Health Care in Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida
Senior Helpers Provides Many services in The Tarpon Springs and New Port Richey Florida area. We provide a full array of Home Care services for seniors and the elderly living in the beautiful Suncoast area. Our Home Care Services are provided by bonded and insured employees and all employees pass a National Background check.
If you need Home Care services in Tarpon Springs, New Port Richey, Hudson, Holiday, Spring Hill, East Lake and the surrounding areas we are an excellent choice with impeccable references. Home Health Care for your elderly loved ones is never an easy choice but we can promise we will do our best to make it as painless as possible. From our family to yours we sincerely thank you for considering Senior Helpers of Tarpon Springs Home Health Care Company. "
Monday, December 19, 2011
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Thursday, December 15, 2011
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